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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23136) - you deserved it (14880) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31251) - you deserved it (6273)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34156) - you deserved it (7049)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at basketball practice and my coach asked me how my knee was. When I lifted my pants to show him, my cheetah print thong that had been stuck inside the pants from the dryer flew out to the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17625) - you deserved it (5987)
On 02/07/2010 at 9:21am - misc - by Mackdaddy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12150) - you deserved it (29013)
On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18827) - you deserved it (1806)
On 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23791) - you deserved it (5458)
On 12/27/2009 at 9:19am - love - by porkythighs (woman) - Singapore
Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11029) - you deserved it (19753)
On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31955) - you deserved it (4869)
On 09/11/2009 at 4:46pm - animals - by ouchh (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44296) - you deserved it (14695)
On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70091) - you deserved it (14844)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85077) - you deserved it (25503)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33233) - you deserved it (3073)
On 07/24/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was"Best positions for a small penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (72015) - you deserved it (9224)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9997) - you deserved it (68449)
On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)
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