neroccaesar

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Offline (the 06/05/2014 at 10:05pm)

neroccaesar

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 450
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

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neroccaesar's page activity

Visits<b>Ytharr_Taaz</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:32pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 7:04pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 4:31am<b>andy594328</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 11:31pm<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 11:07pm<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 8:30pm<b>its_bree</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 9:28am<b>ABillOnFire</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 12:13am<b>MichelleRuzicka</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 6:17pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 4:31pm<b>_Rachel_2008</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 9:23am<b>LunaBlack666</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:31am<b>JD1147</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 9:57pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 8:27pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 8:21pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 4:54pm<b>hellnosucka</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 5:20am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 7:00pm

neroccaesar's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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Judgmental

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neroccaesar's favorite FMLs

Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML

by Fat Arsed Lass / 06/01/2014 at 6:28am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Animals

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

by wendtinmypants / 05/31/2014 at 11:05am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

by creepyyy / 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Animals

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

by STOP / 05/08/2014 at 9:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

by god / 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, I am on vacation in Dubai with my dad and a few of his friends. I thought we were going to travel and see some amazing things, but I'm confined to my hotel room while everyone drinks and watches Family Guy. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 4:05pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Holidays

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 1:57am / Canada / Kids

Today, I finally decided to do something productive and clean my room. When I went to pick up the first thing off my floor I hit my head on my desk and gave myself a concussion. FML

by vee2013 / 04/26/2014 at 12:22am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML

by Anonyme / 04/24/2014 at 2:57am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Transportation

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids