Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nephilim241

Search for a member

nephilim241

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2316
  • Number of comments : 124
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About nephilim241 : 29/M/London

Msg me :)

nephilim241's page activity

Visits<b>AE101</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:18pm<b>hey_brittany_</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:51am<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 5:42am<b>Star1398</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 4:47am<b>delhh</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 11:45am<b>fofers</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:45pm<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:01pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 8:44am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 11:54am<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 11:09pm<b>bojh1998</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 3:40pm<b>LoveOrHate7</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 10:43am<b>maggiefox</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 9:38pm<b>that_dancer13</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 12:55pm<b>thycleverestname</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 12:09am<b>lexi1337</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 4:42pm<b>1pirelli1</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 12:40am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 3:41pm

nephilim241's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of nephilim241's badges

nephilim241's favorite FMLs

Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML

#17162768
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27536) - you deserved it (3781)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:22pm - health - by deeenalynn - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

#17087035
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20958) - you deserved it (13852)

On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

#17063705
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29490) - you deserved it (11306)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Mothering (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

#16980520
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9586) - you deserved it (66243)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML

#16978964
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28730) - you deserved it (3802)

On 07/04/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by danam - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

#16968738
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29864) - you deserved it (3473)

On 07/04/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by monquiqui (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10110) - you deserved it (77705)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend tried to climb up to my third story window in the early hours of the morning. Just before he got to the top, he slipped and fell to the ground. My dad had to drive him to the hospital at 3am. FML

#16886506
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30475) - you deserved it (6871)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML

#16842955
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9973) - you deserved it (42907)

On 06/25/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by PandaMantis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent a full hour working on my British accent. FML

#16707397
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8602) - you deserved it (35485)

On 06/17/2011 at 3:32am - misc - by seriouslybored (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12616) - you deserved it (57822)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50227) - you deserved it (7802)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

#16520207
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29364) - you deserved it (4035)

On 06/05/2011 at 9:44pm - kids - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
463 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10482) - you deserved it (116712)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

#16357497
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32374) - you deserved it (3030)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: