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nephilim241

Offline (the 08/27/2015 at 8:54am) | Search for a member

nephilim241

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3386
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About nephilim241 : 31/M/Biker/IT Manager/London

nephilim241's page activity

Visits<b>kiki1705</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:29am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:38am<b>cribbin</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:15pm<b>HorrorJr</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:21am<b>Advising</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 12:20pm<b>alyssaamarante</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 10:31pm<b>lucythomson</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 11:17am<b>livvylambchop</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 6:58am<b>JulietVoltora</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 3:16am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:24pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:13am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:35pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:49pm<b>ariesfyre00</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:18pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:07am<b>ar13l</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:59am<b>StreetlightM</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:17pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 6:15pm

Fucked!<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 1:53pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 2:59am<b>rachelpayne18</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:55pm

nephilim241's FML badges

Perfectionist

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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of nephilim241's badges

nephilim241's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker on the fridge because it wasn't working. Without even pausing, he turned the child lock off and started laughing at me. FML

#17260733
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14001) - you deserved it (36415)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:19pm - kids - by unnamed - United States (California)

Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell and hit my head on the faucet. FML

#17173015
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32119) - you deserved it (4881)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:33am - health - by MAWZ (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML

#17162768
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28160) - you deserved it (3838)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:22pm - health - by deeenalynn - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

#17087035
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (14847)

On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

#17063705
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32489) - you deserved it (12007)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Mothering (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

#16980520
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10711) - you deserved it (70170)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML

#16978964
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30859) - you deserved it (3985)

On 07/04/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by danam - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

#16968738
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30916) - you deserved it (3560)

On 07/04/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by monquiqui (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11389) - you deserved it (82452)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend tried to climb up to my third story window in the early hours of the morning. Just before he got to the top, he slipped and fell to the ground. My dad had to drive him to the hospital at 3am. FML

#16886506
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33292) - you deserved it (7310)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML

#16842955
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11210) - you deserved it (45475)

On 06/25/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by PandaMantis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent a full hour working on my British accent. FML

#16707397
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9031) - you deserved it (36737)

On 06/17/2011 at 3:32am - misc - by seriouslybored (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14059) - you deserved it (60973)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53833) - you deserved it (8379)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

#16520207
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32231) - you deserved it (4328)

On 06/05/2011 at 9:44pm - kids - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Texas)



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