About nephilim241 : 28/M/London
Msg me :)
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Today, I tried to close my desk drawer by hitting it with my hip, like they do in the movies. Everything on my desk fell off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8061) - you deserved it (23861)
On 08/30/2011 at 2:30am - work - by rojin12 - United States (Maryland)
Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29800) - you deserved it (1946)
On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25071) - you deserved it (6014)
On 08/18/2011 at 1:18am - health - by gb - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16327) - you deserved it (4497)
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29413) - you deserved it (8637)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31924) - you deserved it (7389)
On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States
Today, severely tired and pulling an all-nighter, I was editing documents at work. Eventually the words blurred together and "which" began to look funny, so I corrected them. I realized too late that I'd turned in the company's brochure with every "which" spelt as "witch". FML
I agree, your life sucks (10062) - you deserved it (20934)
On 08/04/2011 at 4:49pm - work - by Donny - United States
Today, after being recently laid off at work due to "cutbacks", I went job searching around town. During my drive, I cruised past my old workplace and saw a "now hiring" sign in their window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27743) - you deserved it (3237)
On 07/28/2011 at 6:25pm - work - by jellymoon14 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I learned it's best not to piss off your mom when she's cutting your hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8897) - you deserved it (28154)
On 07/27/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by :( - United States (Illinois)
Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker on the fridge because it wasn't working. Without even pausing, he turned the child lock off and started laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10247) - you deserved it (24928)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:19pm - kids - by unnamed - United States (California)
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell and hit my head on the faucet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24260) - you deserved it (3390)
On 07/19/2011 at 2:33am - health - by MAWZ (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23206) - you deserved it (3402)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:22pm - health - by deeenalynn - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17265) - you deserved it (12118)
On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)
Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24021) - you deserved it (8602)
On 07/11/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Mothering (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7507) - you deserved it (49204)
On 07/05/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (West Virginia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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