Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nephilim241

Online | Search for a member

nephilim241

14Fucked!

nephilim241
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3761
  • Number of comments : 126
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About nephilim241 : 31/M/Biker/IT Manager/London

nephilim241's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 8:53pm<b>cookimonstur</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 8:34am<b>missa8604</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:08pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:43am<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 12:14am<b>W31rdG1rl</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:42am<b>smithersmaster</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 7:30pm<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:59am<b>ACASEOFU</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 8:22pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 5:05pm<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 3:15pm<b>Katdurin</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 3:00am<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 2:52am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 11:57pm<b>Soniarita</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 3:02am<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:08am<b>dblogic</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 8:17pm<b>NotGabe</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 1:08pm

Fucked!<b>W31rdG1rl</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 1:43pm<b>Soniarita</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:02am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 6:05am<b>LauraAnn33</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 4:06am<b>missa8604</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 12:08am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 6:21pm<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 2:25pm<b>KangarooRat</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 3:05am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 4:58pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 1:53pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 2:59am<b>rachelpayne18</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:55pm

nephilim241's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of nephilim241's badges

nephilim241's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40123) - you deserved it (25459)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35622) - you deserved it (5544)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92450) - you deserved it (14557)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to walk through an extremely crowded pub wearing a dorky prisoner outfit to get to a dress-up party at the back. When we got there, I soon realised it wasn't fancy dress, but just black-and-white themed. FML

#17703171
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11153) - you deserved it (20665)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I left my book on the plane after I'd finished reading it. The flight attendant thought I'd forgotten it, so he chased me through the airport, past security, past customs, and past baggage claims. I didn't have the heart to tell him I left it on purpose. FML

#17685983
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9356) - you deserved it (43839)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:05am - work - by sad - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35177) - you deserved it (3299)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to close my desk drawer by hitting it with my hip, like they do in the movies. Everything on my desk fell off. FML

#17618685
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11156) - you deserved it (30385)

On 08/30/2011 at 2:30am - work - by rojin12 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39621) - you deserved it (2988)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML

#17506139
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33734) - you deserved it (8542)

On 08/18/2011 at 1:18am - health - by gb - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

#17474756
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24359) - you deserved it (6752)

On 08/14/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38435) - you deserved it (10284)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40946) - you deserved it (8663)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, severely tired and pulling an all-nighter, I was editing documents at work. Eventually the words blurred together and "which" began to look funny, so I corrected them. I realized too late that I'd turned in the company's brochure with every "which" spelt as "witch". FML

#17368765
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14171) - you deserved it (27394)

On 08/04/2011 at 4:49pm - work - by Donny - United States

Today, after being recently laid off at work due to "cutbacks", I went job searching around town. During my drive, I cruised past my old workplace and saw a "now hiring" sign in their window. FML

#17289297
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36122) - you deserved it (3892)

On 07/28/2011 at 6:25pm - work - by jellymoon14 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned it's best not to piss off your mom when she's cutting your hair. FML

#17275625
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12510) - you deserved it (40644)

On 07/27/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by :( - United States (Illinois)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: