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nephilim241

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nephilim241
  • Town/Country : London, UK
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1972
  • Number of comments : 124
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About nephilim241 : 29/M/London

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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nephilim241's favorite FMLs

Today, I called a friend of mine who was recently in an accident. She told me that the head trauma has caused her to lose all sense of smell and taste. To try and cheer her up, I suggested I take her out to lunch. FML

#18372646
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8278) - you deserved it (28210)

On 11/28/2011 at 1:30am - health - by MB - United States (Texas)

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26173) - you deserved it (2430)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving home and got a phone call from my mom. She called to tell me that there was a cop at the bottom of our hill, and to be careful. I got a ticket for talking on my cell phone while driving. FML

#18269786
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12562) - you deserved it (24637)

On 11/17/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by tramplily - United States

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

#18135742
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26537) - you deserved it (3166)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38399) - you deserved it (3846)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38399) - you deserved it (3846)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60218) - you deserved it (2953)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML

#17950170
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26026) - you deserved it (2400)

On 10/10/2011 at 4:29am - health - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I had a blind date with a really cute guy. Just when I was about to invite him back to my place for a nightcap, he took out a catalog of Russian mail-order brides and asked for my help in picking out the best one. FML

#17892754
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22118) - you deserved it (2633)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:15am - love - by NotRussian (woman) - United States

Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML

#17878536
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20192) - you deserved it (7172)

On 10/01/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while taking a shower, my back hair caused so much friction against the bar of soap, it stuck for a good second before coming free. FML

#17878442
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17185) - you deserved it (7949)

On 10/01/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by soapy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while taking a shower, my back hair caused so much friction against the bar of soap, it stuck for a good second before coming free. FML

#17878442
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17185) - you deserved it (7949)

On 10/01/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by soapy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

#17786255
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48029) - you deserved it (5816)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29759) - you deserved it (17166)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28281) - you deserved it (4867)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)



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