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nephilim241

Offline (the 08/27/2015 at 8:54am) | Search for a member

nephilim241

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3382
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About nephilim241 : 31/M/Biker/IT Manager/London

nephilim241's page activity

Visits<b>kiki1705</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:29am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:38am<b>cribbin</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:15pm<b>HorrorJr</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:21am<b>Advising</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 12:20pm<b>alyssaamarante</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 10:31pm<b>lucythomson</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 11:17am<b>livvylambchop</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 6:58am<b>JulietVoltora</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 3:16am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:24pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:13am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:35pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:49pm<b>ariesfyre00</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:18pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:07am<b>ar13l</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:59am<b>StreetlightM</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:17pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 6:15pm

Fucked!<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 1:53pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 2:59am<b>rachelpayne18</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:55pm

nephilim241's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of nephilim241's badges

nephilim241's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend poked me on Facebook. I got excited because this is as close as he's come to touching me in weeks. FML

#19112130
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28228) - you deserved it (4661)

On 02/19/2012 at 12:40am - love - by Skullie - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

#19083975
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22713) - you deserved it (2800)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

#19040540
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8319) - you deserved it (26398)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:13am - animals - by Stung (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35856) - you deserved it (3772)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while coming back from skiing, a woman asked me if I could help her carry her stroller. I put my skis down and helped her. When I came back to pick my skis up, I saw two guys running away with my gear. You try chasing someone while wearing ski boots. FML

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

#18765651
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14487) - you deserved it (52343)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

#18765651
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14487) - you deserved it (52343)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML

#18733674
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30391) - you deserved it (5573)

On 01/07/2012 at 6:11am - misc - by merrymary - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21939) - you deserved it (41841)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML

#18722642
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30236) - you deserved it (5915)

On 01/06/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by plantfood - United States

Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML

#18594969
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15717) - you deserved it (38959)

On 12/24/2011 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML

#18576133
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27728) - you deserved it (3435)

On 12/22/2011 at 12:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

#18540985
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15466) - you deserved it (40838)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Une Fille (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

#18408881
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23910) - you deserved it (5841)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by inpain - United States (California)

Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

#18384349
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7016) - you deserved it (50840)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States



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