Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nephilim241

Offline (the 10/11/2014 at 7:58am) | Search for a member

nephilim241

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2433
  • Number of comments : 124
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About nephilim241 : 29/M/London

Msg me :)

nephilim241's page activity

Visits<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:50am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:23pm<b>AE101</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:18pm<b>hey_brittany_</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:51am<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 5:42am<b>Star1398</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 4:47am<b>delhh</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 11:45am<b>fofers</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:45pm<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:01pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 8:44am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 11:54am<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 11:09pm<b>bojh1998</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 3:40pm<b>LoveOrHate7</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 10:43am<b>maggiefox</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 9:38pm<b>that_dancer13</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 12:55pm<b>thycleverestname</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 12:09am<b>lexi1337</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 4:42pm

nephilim241's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of nephilim241's badges

nephilim241's favorite FMLs

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29724) - you deserved it (16384)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML

#19989463
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7926) - you deserved it (28596)

On 07/28/2012 at 6:15pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34104) - you deserved it (39518)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

#19939315
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29966) - you deserved it (4997)

On 07/15/2012 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered I'd left my coffee on top of my car when it fell through the sun roof whilst I was driving, showering me. FML

#19927767
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12146) - you deserved it (22815)

On 07/12/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by hot coffee - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend. There's a short cut to my house by jumping a fence but he insisted that we take the long way because, "Girls don't jump fences." To prove him wrong, I jumped the fence. I fell and broke my leg. FML

#19736347
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14128) - you deserved it (31096)

On 06/05/2012 at 12:27am - love - by Josie - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47216) - you deserved it (4373)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, my boss at my new job asked whether I was fitting in OK. The company is Swedish, so as a joke, I said that at home I now serve all my food as a smorgasbord, chew on fermented herring and Daim chocolate bars, and buy all my furniture at Ikea. She didn't see the funny side. FML

#19625966
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5563) - you deserved it (29411)

On 05/15/2012 at 2:48am - work - by Isa (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML

#19448273
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37609) - you deserved it (3119)

On 04/11/2012 at 5:53am - health - by Scabby (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boss pulled me aside to chastise me for being "off task" because I was chatting with a co-worker while working on a project. She then spent a half hour chatting with the same person about what daycare she should go to for her new baby. FML

#19369519
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19765) - you deserved it (1797)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:42am - work - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

#19189124
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35040) - you deserved it (2444)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML

#19157991
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30475) - you deserved it (2167)

On 02/25/2012 at 12:36am - misc - by Samm Povich - United States

Today, while babysitting, one of the boys fell on an exposed pipe and broke it. It spewed water five feet into the air, spread water across four rooms, and completely soaked another of the boys. Their parents had only left fifteen minutes before. FML

#19112192
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22455) - you deserved it (2634)

On 02/19/2012 at 12:49am - kids - by CamoElla - United States

Today, my boyfriend poked me on Facebook. I got excited because this is as close as he's come to touching me in weeks. FML

#19112130
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25416) - you deserved it (4372)

On 02/19/2012 at 12:40am - love - by Skullie - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

#19083975
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20077) - you deserved it (2525)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: