nephilim241

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Offline (the 05/01/2016 at 8:43am)

nephilim241

17Fucked!

nephilim241
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4013
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About nephilim241 : 31/M/Biker/IT Manager/London

nephilim241's page activity

Visits<b>anonymous0110902</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Red_Ralph</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 7:04am<b>missa8604</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 12:41pm<b>GrouchyKenna</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 11:33pm<b>The_Unlucky1</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 11:40pm<b>aimeeowl</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 9:30pm<b>journeyboots</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 6:43pm<b>soccer555</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 1:22am<b>Ari3l</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 8:34pm<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 3:15pm<b>0_0shortyy0_0</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 11:07pm<b>Vanessa_Leeann26</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 7:13pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 9:11pm<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:43am<b>VGQ</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:20pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:11am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 8:53pm<b>cookimonstur</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 8:34am

Fucked!<b>aimeeowl</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 3:13am<b>GrouchyKenna</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 4:50pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 12:17pm<b>W31rdG1rl</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 1:43pm<b>Soniarita</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:02am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 6:05am<b>LauraAnn33</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 4:06am<b>missa8604</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 12:08am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 6:21pm<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 2:25pm<b>KangarooRat</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 3:05am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 4:58pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 1:53pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 2:59am<b>rachelpayne18</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:55pm

nephilim241's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of nephilim241's badges

nephilim241's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

by anonymous / 01/03/2013 at 5:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML

by Bouh / 12/26/2012 at 11:04pm / Love

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

by Username / 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

by Username / 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

by jobsearching / 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Work

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

by notAMrs / 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

by Heather / 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

by youfuckingslut / 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm / United States / Money

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

by tcm123 / 10/29/2012 at 12:31am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

by nicedoggy / 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after complaining that I had nothing to write about in my weekly journal for college, my professor suggested in front of everyone that I should get a girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 4:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

by Jake / 10/02/2012 at 7:52am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

by Judy / 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids