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nephilim241

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nephilim241

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3059
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About nephilim241 : 31/M/London

Msg me :)

nephilim241's page activity

Visits<b>jillytc</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:13am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:35pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:49pm<b>ariesfyre00</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:18pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:07am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 5:49pm<b>ar13l</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:59am<b>StreetlightM</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:17pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 6:15pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 7:15am<b>angelk19</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 5:21pm<b>Puffpie</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:56am<b>Dylanlev05</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 12:13am<b>Lesser</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 5:11pm<b>Sassy_Kitten96</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 11:43pm<b>JBABBM</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:40am<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 3:00am<b>my_horrible_life</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 1:10am

Fucked!<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 1:53pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 2:59am<b>rachelpayne18</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 11:34pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 8:15pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:55pm

nephilim241's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of nephilim241's badges

nephilim241's favorite FMLs

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

#20440379
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12072) - you deserved it (41673)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

#20178576
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22633) - you deserved it (1507)

On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

#20178576
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22633) - you deserved it (1507)

On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19815) - you deserved it (3989)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

#20170919
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26143) - you deserved it (8476)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by notAMrs (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39052) - you deserved it (2722)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

#20158993
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26774) - you deserved it (3023)

On 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by youfuckingslut (man) - United States

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21399) - you deserved it (1360)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

#20129867
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19413) - you deserved it (3323)

On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32075) - you deserved it (6611)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after complaining that I had nothing to write about in my weekly journal for college, my professor suggested in front of everyone that I should get a girlfriend. FML

#20099593
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18761) - you deserved it (6070)

On 10/03/2012 at 4:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

#20098094
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34103) - you deserved it (2360)

On 10/02/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Jake (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21885) - you deserved it (2548)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62426) - you deserved it (3309)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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