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About nephilim241 : 28/M/London
Msg me :)
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9428) - you deserved it (872)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, my boss at my new job asked whether I was fitting in OK. The company is Swedish, so as a joke, I said that at home I now serve all my food as a smorgasbord, chew on fermented herring and Daim chocolate bars, and buy all my furniture at Ikea. She didn't see the funny side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1375) - you deserved it (7540)
On 05/15/2012 at 2:48am - work - by Isa (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10732) - you deserved it (865)
On 04/11/2012 at 5:53am - health - by Scabby (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, my boss pulled me aside to chastise me for being "off task" because I was chatting with a co-worker while working on a project. She then spent a half hour chatting with the same person about what daycare she should go to for her new baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5939) - you deserved it (520)
On 03/29/2012 at 11:42am - work - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (1616)
On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8939) - you deserved it (718)
On 02/25/2012 at 12:36am - misc - by Samm Povich - United States
Today, while babysitting, one of the boys fell on an exposed pipe and broke it. It spewed water five feet into the air, spread water across four rooms, and completely soaked another of the boys. Their parents had only left fifteen minutes before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15755) - you deserved it (1632)
On 02/19/2012 at 12:49am - kids - by CamoElla - United States
Today, my boyfriend poked me on Facebook. I got excited because this is as close as he's come to touching me in weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7201) - you deserved it (1234)
On 02/19/2012 at 12:40am - love - by Skullie - United States (Ohio)
Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13304) - you deserved it (1560)
On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4892) - you deserved it (14482)
On 02/10/2012 at 9:13am - animals - by Stung (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24789) - you deserved it (2409)
On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while coming back from skiing, a woman asked me if I could help her carry her stroller. I put my skis down and helped her. When I came back to pick my skis up, I saw two guys running away with my gear. You try chasing someone while wearing ski boots. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19272) - you deserved it (2051)
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3493) - you deserved it (13150)
On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22586) - you deserved it (3958)
On 01/07/2012 at 6:11am - misc - by merrymary - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14739) - you deserved it (26109)
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