Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

n3rdzgotskillz

Search for a member

n3rdzgotskillz
  • Town/Country : Huddersfield, England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2283
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About n3rdzgotskillz : I'm Olivia, and apparently my life doesn't suck enough to get any of my FMLs posted. Not sure if this is a good or bad thing.

I have a hideous Yorkshire accent so don't even bother starting with the whole, "oooh, British girl! Crumpets and tea and scones!" thing because that's not how I sound at all. I'm just telling you so you don't get your hopes up.

n3rdzgotskillz's last visitors

Goober244santiagobaptistadestanilovesyouSemperfi92340MisterCrossseeoseeksweatypandaloveJamaxGive_Linux_A_Go

n3rdzgotskillz's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of n3rdzgotskillz's badges

n3rdzgotskillz's favorite FMLs

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19431) - you deserved it (1471)

On 11/20/2012 at 11:50pm - misc - by vanillatwilight2 (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML

#5225291
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27183) - you deserved it (2310)

On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54612) - you deserved it (12512)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

#4623862
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34667) - you deserved it (7335)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:47am - health - by Ahhwtf (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39148) - you deserved it (10529)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML

#4426507
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54748) - you deserved it (6502)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML

#1178108
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10611) - you deserved it (47574)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by dummy441 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
850 comments

I agree, your life sucks (276623) - you deserved it (23321)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

#481631
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (307699) - you deserved it (40967)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64503) - you deserved it (3035)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by