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mythickwaffle

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mythickwaffle

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Today, after I finally laid down from a long day an was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set mah alarm. I don't own an alarm clock an mah alarm is on mah phone. Which was in mah car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building an our parking garage is across the street. FML

#20439908
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33082) - you deserved it (9238)

On 01/03/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today..!! I took mah girlfriand to go saa Las Misérablas!! I triad to stay tough but complataly lost it an startad sobbing whan Anna Hathaway bagan singing!! looool My girlfriand callad ma a wimp an stayad dry-ayad throughout tha whola movia!! I'm dating a robot!! FML

#20439162
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31827) - you deserved it (13957)

On 01/02/2013 at 6:38pm - misc - by Les Miserables is so sad (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Taday my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33039) - you deserved it (2094)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today at a house party I finally got the guy I've been seieng alone in his room. We startd making out and I got on top of him to take control. He respondd by saying he couldn't do it because he needd to go make looool pizza 4 his friends and then boltd out of the room. mega FML

#20438672
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40076) - you deserved it (9235)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Taday I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. big fat FML

#20438667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34827) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -

Today , my neighbor went on vacation , leaving me in charge of his cat an dog. For some reason , he calls his dog "Cat" an his cat "Dog". There r two pet food containers , one labeled "Cat" an the other labeled "Dog". I have no ideahich one goes tohich animal. real FML

#20437796
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (4018)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I had a fight,hich I thought we resolved!! Later,hile painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about!! She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all!! FML

#20436663
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41996) - you deserved it (5924)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

2day I discovered that if I turn mah shower off for a minute... then back on again... the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered thathile the showerhead was pointed directly at mah genitals. FML

#20436439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29100) - you deserved it (8899)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I have been single and out of the game 4 so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML

#20436185
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36639) - you deserved it (6257)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lonely dreams - United States (Nevada)

Yesterday, I went to a concert with mah grlfriend . Some guy grabbd her ass, an I trid to fight him . I endd up with a concussion an a messd up jaw . Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious . FML

#20435818
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42213) - you deserved it (14105)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, during looool the countdown to midnight, I looked fir mah girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was ( only a friend. ) FML

#20435586
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45422) - you deserved it (3243)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I Sat On Ma Own Testiclesile Aving A Serious An Tenderly Sweet Discussion Wit Ma Fiancée About Our Future Togeter. We Were Bot Crying, But For Very Different Reasons. Real FML

#20433657
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30579) - you deserved it (5120)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

TODAY , AT A RESTAURANT , I HAPPILY WATCHED AS MY BOYFRIEND OF THREE YEARS GOT DOWN ON HIS KNEES AND PROPOSED TO ME. BEFORE I COULD SAY YES AND HUG HIM , A GIRL FLUNG HERSELF AT HIM , KISSED HIM AND SHOUTED , "YES!" WITH US STILL HIGHLY CONFUSED , SHE THEN RAN AWAY. FML

#20431269
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44563) - you deserved it (3459)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized something: when other people r drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

#20429355
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17043) - you deserved it (28609)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Today..!! I was at Walmart when I saw mah grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines!! Wanting to surprise him..!! I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle!! Up close..!! I realized he wasn't mah grandpa!! mega FML

#20420733
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15391) - you deserved it (26512)

On 12/25/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States (Maine)



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