About mylifeaskiki : Boston Strong
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Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42248) - you deserved it (3192)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34560) - you deserved it (1891)
On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I walked in on my husband making out with his accountant, the same woman who comforted me when he cheated on me the year before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43596) - you deserved it (14309)
On 05/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36741) - you deserved it (5065)
On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38663) - you deserved it (2241)
On 05/20/2013 at 1:44am - health - by KatielSilver - United States (Washington)
Today, I'm planning my big sister's wedding. My long-term, live-in boyfriend walked by and saw me looking at the wedding tab on Pinterest, smirked, and said, "Don't get your hopes up." I had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40985) - you deserved it (6314)
On 05/20/2013 at 12:47am - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States
Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33884) - you deserved it (4711)
On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50640) - you deserved it (2766)
On 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm - health - by mackmackey (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38057) - you deserved it (5741)
On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37627) - you deserved it (3887)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41335) - you deserved it (2959)
On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43530) - you deserved it (11616)
On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36812) - you deserved it (12477)
On 05/17/2013 at 4:49pm - health - by sprainedankle - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)
Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42707) - you deserved it (3963)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43567) - you deserved it (4511)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands
Friday 24 May 2013
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