Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

my3rdgenipodtouc

Search for a member

my3rdgenipodtouc

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1684
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

my3rdgenipodtouc's page activity

Visits<b>coolcat72</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 6:21pm<b>THE_A_TEEN</b> - the 02/26/2012 at 4:52am

my3rdgenipodtouc's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

my3rdgenipodtouc's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my finger nail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML

#19241359
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22922) - you deserved it (2536)

On 03/08/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14410) - you deserved it (49980)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML

#19233379
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27154) - you deserved it (28066)

On 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by sad face - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML

#19226382
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25433) - you deserved it (4168)

On 03/06/2012 at 8:56am - love - by biggirlsdocry (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25196) - you deserved it (7720)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

#19214388
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21027) - you deserved it (3686)

On 03/04/2012 at 2:36pm - health - by breebree-0 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML

#19200408
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18682) - you deserved it (1746)

On 03/02/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by Peach - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

#19186705
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25758) - you deserved it (2136)

On 02/29/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by mandygeegoesnom - United States

Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML

#19161997
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33441) - you deserved it (2054)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands British

Today, I went to a dance with the boy I like. To my delight, he tried to pick me up. To my dismay, he couldn't. FML

#19157745
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25083) - you deserved it (6182)

On 02/25/2012 at 12:04am - love - by michellemoyah (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10364) - you deserved it (55092)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to use antiperspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML

#19152897
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24793) - you deserved it (6197)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21928) - you deserved it (6567)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting on the bus and as I'm quite short my legs were dangling. Some guy, who wasn't looking where he was going, tripped over my foot and went flying. He and everyone else on the bus glared at me like it was deliberate. The man next to me even changed seats in disgust. FML

#19138227
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23209) - you deserved it (2917)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:53am - misc - by Whoopsie - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

#19131070
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26681) - you deserved it (6306)

On 02/21/2012 at 1:03pm - love - by Djcc - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: