my3rdgenipodtouc

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my3rdgenipodtouc

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3390
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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my3rdgenipodtouc's page activity

Visits<b>coolcat72</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 6:21pm<b>THE_A_TEEN</b> - the 02/26/2012 at 4:52am

my3rdgenipodtouc's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

my3rdgenipodtouc's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my finger nail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML

by Anonymous / 03/08/2012 at 7:30pm / Canada / Love

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML

by sad face / 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML

by biggirlsdocry / 03/06/2012 at 8:56am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

by breebree-0 / 03/04/2012 at 2:36pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML

by Peach / 03/02/2012 at 12:46am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

by mandygeegoesnom / 02/29/2012 at 12:30am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm / Virgin Islands British / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a dance with the boy I like. To my delight, he tried to pick me up. To my dismay, he couldn't. FML

by michellemoyah / 02/25/2012 at 12:04am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had to use antiperspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 10:05am / Ireland / Health

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 3:40am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was sitting on the bus and as I'm quite short my legs were dangling. Some guy, who wasn't looking where he was going, tripped over my foot and went flying. He and everyone else on the bus glared at me like it was deliberate. The man next to me even changed seats in disgust. FML

by Whoopsie / 02/22/2012 at 10:53am / United States / Transportation

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

by Djcc / 02/21/2012 at 1:03pm / United States / Love