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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17973) - you deserved it (7448)
On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23127) - you deserved it (2471)
On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)
Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19729) - you deserved it (2636)
On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19360) - you deserved it (1755)
On 04/29/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by davincourt (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5776) - you deserved it (45619)
On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15993) - you deserved it (1682)
On 04/21/2012 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21109) - you deserved it (2301)
On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States
Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18779) - you deserved it (3141)
On 04/21/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by wmkaz - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38221) - you deserved it (3720)
On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States
Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28981) - you deserved it (1785)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13285) - you deserved it (34161)
On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24359) - you deserved it (3754)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm - love - by mista_sandy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31182) - you deserved it (2173)
On 04/11/2012 at 5:53am - health - by Scabby (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, while outside, a bug flew up my nose. After I told my family and friends about a faint vibrating in my upper nostril, they all convinced me I was paranoid. That was until that night when I blew my nose and there was the bug in my tissue. Its leg was still twitching. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20593) - you deserved it (1451)
On 04/10/2012 at 10:19pm - health - by baugy (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad found out that there is a free, 24 hour, 7 days a week religious channel. Now that's all he watches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18081) - you deserved it (1715)
On 04/09/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by awwman - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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