my3rdgenipodtouc

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my3rdgenipodtouc

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2696
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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my3rdgenipodtouc's page activity

Visits<b>coolcat72</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 6:21pm<b>THE_A_TEEN</b> - the 02/26/2012 at 4:52am

my3rdgenipodtouc's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

my3rdgenipodtouc's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

by Brax / 05/30/2012 at 5:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

by iPhonekid / 05/27/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

by ilovemymomma / 05/26/2012 at 3:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

by ilovemymomma / 05/26/2012 at 3:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I didn't even bother to turn my cellphone off in a movie theater because I knew no one would text me or call. FML

by Rick / 05/22/2012 at 7:02am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé and I planned a romantic movie night. Champagne, popcorn, romantic comedy. Then his friend decided to show up and they've been talking about 1st generation Pokémon ever since. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2012 at 7:14pm / United States / Love

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

by jcdc / 05/20/2012 at 11:03am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2012 at 6:54pm / United States / Health

Today, I discovered that my acne glows yellow and orange under black lights while in front of a wall of them at a club. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 12:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "what birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2012 at 10:13am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having dinner with my college friends to celebrate the end of our first year. I said really great things about them as individuals. The only thing they had to say to me was, "Thanks for being the token black friend." FML

by foreverbrown / 05/14/2012 at 10:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 10:22am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Transportation

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:14pm / United States / Health

Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 8:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

by me / 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy