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my3rdgenipodtouc

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my3rdgenipodtouc
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1182
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9356) - you deserved it (32981)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

#19956706
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (2836)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by Awkward - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML

#19946239
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17252) - you deserved it (4796)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by dogmom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, while at work, a lady with a mustache came in and told me she was lost. I was happy to help, but could not stop rubbing my nose due to allergies. As she left she said, "I know I have a mustache you little ass" and stormed out. FML

#19943603
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23615) - you deserved it (2267)

On 07/16/2012 at 12:08am - work - by crazyautio - United States

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12500) - you deserved it (23724)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

#19908748
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26452) - you deserved it (2872)

On 07/08/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad. We walked past the deodorant aisle. My dad said, "Need any deodorant?" I said, "No thanks." He replied, "That was a hint." FML

#19898795
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8097) - you deserved it (24948)

On 07/06/2012 at 2:52am - misc - by CanadianTwin - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to live with her father because they have a faster internet connection. FML

#19875787
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24214) - you deserved it (5268)

On 07/01/2012 at 12:00pm - kids - by grrr1234 -

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

#19870376
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27521) - you deserved it (4704)

On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I used a red-eye removal tool on one of my photos. I quickly realised how bad my acne is when the software couldn't distinguish between my eyes and cheeks. FML

#19856551
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18059) - you deserved it (1996) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/27/2012 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML

#19853920
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32810) - you deserved it (2790)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:05am - love - by tammy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML

#19822934
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9992) - you deserved it (22703)

On 06/21/2012 at 6:02am - health - by TheDumper (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

#19821696
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5758) - you deserved it (62913)

On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

#19817734
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19919) - you deserved it (2270)

On 06/20/2012 at 8:46am - work - by notanidiot - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

#19814133
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28199) - you deserved it (2585)

On 06/19/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by lisahb - United States (Michigan)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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