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my3rdgenipodtouc

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my3rdgenipodtouc

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1722
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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my3rdgenipodtouc's page activity

Visits<b>coolcat72</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 6:21pm<b>THE_A_TEEN</b> - the 02/26/2012 at 4:52am

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my3rdgenipodtouc's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23589) - you deserved it (2793)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

#20147226
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18001) - you deserved it (11720)

On 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

#20063186
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7915) - you deserved it (19836)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

#20062588
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13337) - you deserved it (28767)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML

#20058422
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23967) - you deserved it (1539)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by holymoly - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML

#20055321
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22048) - you deserved it (1805)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:39am - love - by mfnfhdjdjddjsjfn - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

#19991658
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33377) - you deserved it (5028)

On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

#19990567
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26581) - you deserved it (4190)

On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

#19979186
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32481) - you deserved it (3264)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

#19971025
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27902) - you deserved it (2947)

On 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm - health - by Luna - United States (New York)

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

#19971025
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27902) - you deserved it (2947)

On 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm - health - by Luna - United States (New York)

Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML

#19969409
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21438) - you deserved it (2664)

On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML

#19969409
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21438) - you deserved it (2664)

On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

#19962660
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21252) - you deserved it (1690)

On 07/20/2012 at 3:58am - misc - by Grrr (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23975) - you deserved it (5467)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)



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