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my3rdgenipodtouc

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my3rdgenipodtouc
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1196
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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my3rdgenipodtouc's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20112) - you deserved it (2425)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

#20147226
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15816) - you deserved it (10676)

On 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

#20063186
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7519) - you deserved it (18881)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

#20062588
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11036) - you deserved it (25584)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML

#20058422
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20720) - you deserved it (1322)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by holymoly - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML

#20055321
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19751) - you deserved it (1589)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:39am - love - by mfnfhdjdjddjsjfn - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

#19991658
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27947) - you deserved it (3711)

On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

#19990567
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24571) - you deserved it (3942)

On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

#19979186
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30875) - you deserved it (3106)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

#19971025
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25624) - you deserved it (2724)

On 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm - health - by Luna - United States (New York)

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

#19971025
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25624) - you deserved it (2724)

On 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm - health - by Luna - United States (New York)

Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML

#19969409
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17708) - you deserved it (2274)

On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML

#19969409
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17708) - you deserved it (2274)

On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

#19962660
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16567) - you deserved it (1130)

On 07/20/2012 at 3:58am - misc - by Grrr (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18320) - you deserved it (4031)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)



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