ms_uruz7

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ms_uruz7

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 July 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3570
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ms_uruz7's page activity

Visits<b>Si123</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 5:30am<b>AwkwardFlower</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:43pm<b>UndyingKarma</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:58pm<b>xwendifferx</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 11:21pm<b>Ins3rtEpicName</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 3:44pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 3:53am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:46pm<b>JamesTheGiraffe</b> - the 01/22/2011 at 11:56pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:36am

Fucked!<b>_shaydwashere_</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:20am

ms_uruz7's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ms_uruz7's favorite FMLs

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

by hamsterlovinn / 06/06/2009 at 1:51am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 4:54pm / Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

by Kimmiko / 06/04/2009 at 8:17am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Transportation

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

by anonymous / 06/01/2009 at 3:05am / Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

by waterproblem / 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

by Jerrrr / 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML

by silvercity09 / 05/25/2009 at 11:04pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

by Angelofkarma / 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2009 at 10:55am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous