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ms_uruz7

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ms_uruz7
  • Town/Country : auckland, new zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 July 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 2033
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ms_uruz7's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

#4350390
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19638) - you deserved it (47285)

On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML

#4158502
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51024) - you deserved it (3444)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by Toaster (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML

#4156114
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44423) - you deserved it (3688)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by epicc1584 - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML

#4151935
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6451) - you deserved it (72329)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:56am - misc - by FGum (man) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

#4144889
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17415) - you deserved it (44288)

On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML

#4097129
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42656) - you deserved it (8434)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

#4081805
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55899) - you deserved it (2357)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML

#4031081
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9807) - you deserved it (52115)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by rbates - United States (Florida)

Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML

#4027991
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40983) - you deserved it (3686)

On 07/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 9 year old niece asked me if I was a virgin. I told her, "Yes, I'm saving myself until marriage". She replied, "That's a load of bullshit, you just can't get a guy!" Sadly, she's right. FML

#4025974
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43996) - you deserved it (7638)

On 07/25/2009 at 5:55am - kids - by Kimberly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML

#4001107
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39564) - you deserved it (5139)

On 07/24/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by umbrella (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

#3998492
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66606) - you deserved it (6615)

On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

#3982111
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44256) - you deserved it (4754)

On 07/23/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by bossgroper (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

#3971516
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46664) - you deserved it (3603)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:10am - kids - by bbbkingsey (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

#3967657
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67041) - you deserved it (4060)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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