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motherpuncher

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motherpuncher

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 708
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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motherpuncher's page activity

Visits<b>stevenJB</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 9:29am<b>bspiper87</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 5:37am

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motherpuncher's favorite FMLs

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22212) - you deserved it (18319)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35160) - you deserved it (3415)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, I went to see a doctor about some of the memory problems I've been having. After the appointment, I could barely remember a thing he told me. FML

#18961286
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26605) - you deserved it (2673)

On 01/31/2012 at 3:17pm - health - by louie (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19814) - you deserved it (3211)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

#18904057
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30739) - you deserved it (2685)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

#18860865
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35782) - you deserved it (10143)

On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States

Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML

#18855245
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6848) - you deserved it (74175)

On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (4977)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

#18785359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25241) - you deserved it (4839)

On 01/12/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

#18643236
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28377) - you deserved it (5008)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:48am - health - by OH COME ON (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML

#18502844
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28921) - you deserved it (2809)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:33pm - work - by microtech - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

#18358033
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66567) - you deserved it (3225)

On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11902) - you deserved it (56260)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, the handle in the port-a-potty broke off, with me inside. FML

#18230323
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (2432)

On 11/12/2011 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

#18216431
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27907) - you deserved it (7333)

On 11/11/2011 at 3:42am - health - by devinchi (man) - United States



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