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motherpuncher

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motherpuncher

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 September 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 678
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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motherpuncher's page activity

Visits<b>stevenJB</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 9:29am<b>bspiper87</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 5:37am

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motherpuncher's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

#19522939
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22972) - you deserved it (17291)

On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27631) - you deserved it (4215)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13315) - you deserved it (54524) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML

#19449601
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30653) - you deserved it (5095)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm - love - by mista_sandy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in health class we were watching a documentary about anxiety. My teacher asked if any of us often feel anxious. I was too anxious to raise my hand, and went into a minor panic attack. FML

#19332021
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (4093)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:23am - health - by cjd - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34812) - you deserved it (5449)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22196) - you deserved it (18315)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35144) - you deserved it (3415)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, I went to see a doctor about some of the memory problems I've been having. After the appointment, I could barely remember a thing he told me. FML

#18961286
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26590) - you deserved it (2671)

On 01/31/2012 at 3:17pm - health - by louie (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19805) - you deserved it (3210)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

#18904057
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30306) - you deserved it (2650)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

#18860865
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35768) - you deserved it (10140)

On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States

Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML

#18855245
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6848) - you deserved it (74150)

On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31769) - you deserved it (4976)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

#18785359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25220) - you deserved it (4837)

On 01/12/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Hawaii)



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