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motherpuncher

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motherpuncher
  • Town/Country : California, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 September 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 475
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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motherpuncher's favorite FMLs

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

#18860865
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (9600)

On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States

Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML

#18855245
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6277) - you deserved it (70616)

On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you deserved it (4507)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

#18785359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22893) - you deserved it (4594)

On 01/12/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

#18643236
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26678) - you deserved it (4835)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:48am - health - by OH COME ON (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

#18358033
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64580) - you deserved it (3099)

On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10932) - you deserved it (54100)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

#18216431
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24589) - you deserved it (6828)

On 11/11/2011 at 3:42am - health - by devinchi (man) - United States

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

#17818557
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40085) - you deserved it (4102)

On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML

#17786304
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26803) - you deserved it (2515)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by ugly? - United States

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8104) - you deserved it (27171)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20810) - you deserved it (64575)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48871) - you deserved it (9568)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35160) - you deserved it (3908)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18195) - you deserved it (44713)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)



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