Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

motherpuncher

Online | Search for a member

motherpuncher

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 787
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

motherpuncher's page activity

Visits<b>stevenJB</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 9:29am<b>bspiper87</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 5:37am

motherpuncher's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of motherpuncher's badges

motherpuncher's favorite FMLs

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50659) - you deserved it (6633)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41521) - you deserved it (3614)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49174) - you deserved it (4741)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43729) - you deserved it (3082)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got called a cunt at work by a customer. What could I have said that could have caused them to say that? "Have a great day." FML

#21201129
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38760) - you deserved it (3530)

On 07/06/2014 at 11:39pm - work - by notoneatall - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45780) - you deserved it (26129)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46130) - you deserved it (8324)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22231) - you deserved it (46167)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

#21127339
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39519) - you deserved it (4981)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43612) - you deserved it (4984)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21876) - you deserved it (53857)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad got me one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML

#21101196
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35659) - you deserved it (5226)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:10pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43785) - you deserved it (6369)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: