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motherpuncher's favorite FMLs
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML
by socreepedouticanteven / 10/26/2014 at 8:05pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
by mellielynnemily / 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm / United States / Love
by soisblueballsdickhead / 10/26/2014 at 10:25am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to the police station to find out if the tint on my new car's windshield was too dark. The officer took one look, told me that windshield tints are illegal in California, and ticketed me. So much for being honest. FML
by tanisLX / 10/25/2014 at 5:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 9:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML
by anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 9:47am / Austria (Wien) / Transportation
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids
by Australian Lifeguard / 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by bye loser / 10/20/2014 at 5:28am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by ColdStones / 10/20/2014 at 4:50am / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by highfive / 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by BoobiePain / 10/15/2014 at 10:33pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,…