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motherpuncher

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motherpuncher
  • Town/Country : California, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 September 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 469
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15250) - you deserved it (2226)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23368) - you deserved it (2949)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

#20118333
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (1899)

On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was fiddling around with the thermostat at my new place. For a laugh, I twisted the knob all the way to 40° celsius, when it snapped off. I don't have a clue how to fix it. FML

#20104478
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6511) - you deserved it (34145)

On 10/06/2012 at 4:29pm - misc - by didntknowyoucouldbreakit (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML

#20080602
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12461) - you deserved it (292)

On 09/20/2012 at 10:58am - kids - by Hmmmm (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

#20078695
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6161) - you deserved it (26570)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML

#20071743
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16590) - you deserved it (1096)

On 09/14/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by thefuckman (man) - United States

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20373) - you deserved it (1661)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's been a week since I've been in hospital. No one has been to visit me. The nurses have nicknamed me "The Lonely One." FML

#20071345
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25897) - you deserved it (1514)

On 09/14/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by lonely one - United States

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26294) - you deserved it (6812)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22058) - you deserved it (3680)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15025) - you deserved it (3024)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML

#20057693
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18422) - you deserved it (3716)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:55pm - health - by freakingout (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22560) - you deserved it (2707)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)



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