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motherpuncher's favorite FMLs
by kismet_fire / 11/04/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, while at work, I was shown CCTV footage of myself staring at the chest belonging to a teenager I was serving. I was accused of being a paedophile and nearly fired, all because I wanted to know what version of Spider-Man was on her T-shirt. FML
by Not A Pervert / 11/03/2014 at 7:00pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Work
Today, I slept over at my new boyfriend's house for the first time. When I woke up in the morning, he told me all about how much gas I'd had through the night. He said he thought he had a grown man in his bed instead of me. FML
by Isa_Marie0113 / 11/03/2014 at 6:32pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by I don't want to be here anymore / 11/03/2014 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by EliseV / 11/03/2014 at 1:56pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by SelfServiced / 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was stuck in the elevator at my building, so I pushed the emergency button which made a ringing noise. After half an hour, I hear someone yelling to the elevator, "Could you stop pushing that button, there are kids sleeping." FML
by Virginy / 10/31/2014 at 9:26pm / France / Transportation
Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML
by anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by peanutprobs / 10/31/2014 at 5:12pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Health
by hardwarekit / 10/31/2014 at 10:27am / United States (New York) / Work
by kimmykins27 / 10/31/2014 at 8:58am / United States / Kids
by noxiffic / 10/31/2014 at 8:31am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by fired tomoz / 10/29/2014 at 11:46am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…
- Today, I realized I finally had enough money saved to surprise my girlfriend with her dream trip to… Today, my new doctor gave me a pamphlet for a cervical cancer prevention injection and told me it's… Today, like we do every year, my family and I went on vacation. Also today, like she does in every…