This member hasn't filled in their description.
motherpuncher's FML badges
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
motherpuncher's favorite FMLs
by kismet_fire / 11/04/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, while at work, I was shown CCTV footage of myself staring at the chest belonging to a teenager I was serving. I was accused of being a paedophile and nearly fired, all because I wanted to know what version of Spider-Man was on her T-shirt. FML
by Not A Pervert / 11/03/2014 at 7:00pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Work
Today, I slept over at my new boyfriend's house for the first time. When I woke up in the morning, he told me all about how much gas I'd had through the night. He said he thought he had a grown man in his bed instead of me. FML
by Isa_Marie0113 / 11/03/2014 at 6:32pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by I don't want to be here anymore / 11/03/2014 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by EliseV / 11/03/2014 at 1:56pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by SelfServiced / 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was stuck in the elevator at my building, so I pushed the emergency button which made a ringing noise. After half an hour, I hear someone yelling to the elevator, "Could you stop pushing that button, there are kids sleeping." FML
by Virginy / 10/31/2014 at 9:26pm / France / Transportation
Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML
by anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by peanutprobs / 10/31/2014 at 5:12pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Health
by hardwarekit / 10/31/2014 at 10:27am / United States (New York) / Work
by kimmykins27 / 10/31/2014 at 8:58am / United States / Kids
by noxiffic / 10/31/2014 at 8:31am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by fired tomoz / 10/29/2014 at 11:46am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work
- Today, my boyfriend told me "don't worry, someday you'll be mature as well." By this, he meant that… Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally… Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared…
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my…