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motherpuncher's favorite FMLs
by weirdthingtosay / 11/21/2014 at 4:56am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by spreadburger / 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by CCrew42 / 11/20/2014 at 7:27pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by fuck fof and die dad / 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy
Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 11:20am / Canada (Quebec) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by MissAggravared / 11/19/2014 at 3:27am / United States (Idaho) / Love
Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML
by HereToLaughAtU / 11/17/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
by phonebaby / 11/17/2014 at 8:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to endure my father going on a sexist rant about how women shouldn't be allowed to go to university because it's "unrealistic" since "all women" become stay-at-home mums. This is the same man who threatened to kick me out if I dropped out of uni. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2014 at 10:44pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm / United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland) / Love
Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML
by jennabee97 / 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my anxiety got so bad that when I stole a sword in Skyrim and resisted arrest, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I ended up curling up on the sofa as my character got hacked to death on the TV. FML
by Anonymous S'wit / 11/08/2014 at 5:49pm / Portugal / Health
Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2014 at 3:03am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a video of a fellow employee doing nothing but watching YouTube videos at work. When I showed the video to my boss, hoping he'd be reprimanded, I got fired for operating video equipment on company grounds. FML
by NoJobNovember / 11/06/2014 at 2:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…