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motherpuncher

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motherpuncher
  • Town/Country : California, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 September 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 220
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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motherpuncher's favorite FMLs

Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML

#20080602
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12010) - you deserved it (264)

On 09/20/2012 at 10:58am - kids - by Hmmmm (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

#20078695
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5759) - you deserved it (25005)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML

#20071743
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13180) - you deserved it (754)

On 09/14/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by thefuckman (man) - United States

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17269) - you deserved it (1257)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's been a week since I've been in hospital. No one has been to visit me. The nurses have nicknamed me "The Lonely One." FML

#20071345
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22624) - you deserved it (1285)

On 09/14/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by lonely one - United States

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20534) - you deserved it (5252)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17780) - you deserved it (2697)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML

#20057693
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14498) - you deserved it (2711)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:55pm - health - by freakingout (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20172) - you deserved it (2148)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29499) - you deserved it (7950) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML

#20031031
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13287) - you deserved it (804)

On 08/20/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Cottagecheeseha (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17850) - you deserved it (4590)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

#20022569
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18679) - you deserved it (3444)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

#20011526
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17783) - you deserved it (4128)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom

Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML

#20011112
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12670) - you deserved it (15986)

On 08/09/2012 at 7:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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