This member hasn't filled in their description.
motherpuncher's FML badges
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
motherpuncher's favorite FMLs
by Recovering Alcoholic / 12/17/2014 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Health
Today, my boss heard a rumor that I was in a relationship with a fellow co-worker. He assured me that inside relationships weren't against any store policy, so I confirmed it. He then fired my boyfriend anyway. FML
by thankssomuch / 12/16/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (Maine) / Work
by justjoking / 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm / United States / Work
Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML
by AsianSensation / 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by hh / 12/05/2014 at 4:13pm / United States (South Dakota) / Love
Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML
by WTF / 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by fishtacos / 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by pooplife / 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML
by amazinghermit / 11/24/2014 at 11:21pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Animals
Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML
by drop dead single / 11/22/2014 at 8:44am / United States / Love
by Carnage23 / 11/22/2014 at 5:16am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Work
by openended / 11/21/2014 at 11:56am / United States (California) / Love
- Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like,… Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform… Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in…