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Offline (the 04/30/2015 at 10:34am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 September 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2589
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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motherpuncher's page activity

Visits<b>stevenJB</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 9:29am<b>bspiper87</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 5:37am

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motherpuncher's favorite FMLs

Today, half of my motivation to stop drinking is so that my tolerance will go down, because I currently can't actually afford enough alcohol to get even tipsy anymore. FML

by Recovering Alcoholic / 12/17/2014 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Health

Today, my boss heard a rumor that I was in a relationship with a fellow co-worker. He assured me that inside relationships weren't against any store policy, so I confirmed it. He then fired my boyfriend anyway. FML

by thankssomuch / 12/16/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

by justjoking / 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm / United States / Work

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

by AsianSensation / 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm / Work

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

by hh / 12/05/2014 at 4:13pm / United States (South Dakota) / Love

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

by WTF / 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

by fishtacos / 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

by pooplife / 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

by amazinghermit / 11/24/2014 at 11:21pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Animals

Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

by drop dead single / 11/22/2014 at 8:44am / United States / Love

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss announced he is coming with us. FML

by Carnage23 / 11/22/2014 at 5:16am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Work

Today, I realized that having an open relationship isn't all that great, when my boyfriend hooked up with his ex and dumped me for her. FML

by openended / 11/21/2014 at 11:56am / United States (California) / Love