Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

motherpuncher

Offline (the 01/27/2015 at 6:45am) | Search for a member

motherpuncher

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1014
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

motherpuncher's page activity

Visits<b>stevenJB</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 9:29am<b>bspiper87</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 5:37am

motherpuncher's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of motherpuncher's badges

motherpuncher's favorite FMLs

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

#21328278
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40781) - you deserved it (3222)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:47am - love - by Proposal Fail - United States (New York)

Today, I'm celebrating New Years with my cat. I made her a cake. FML

#21328260
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27475) - you deserved it (5893)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:25am - misc - by HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML

#21327860
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31588) - you deserved it (2979)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:39pm - love - by cakestar9 (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33198) - you deserved it (2639)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met my new roommate. I hadn't even gotten her name yet, because the first thing she said to me instead was that she wanted to hang her confederate flag on the wall. I'm black. FML

#21326235
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35513) - you deserved it (4288)

On 12/29/2014 at 12:00am - misc - by okay17 - United States

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40274) - you deserved it (2984)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML

#21325566
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34360) - you deserved it (2806)

On 12/27/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by Twysted91 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

#21323182
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32828) - you deserved it (3391)

On 12/24/2014 at 9:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was yelled at in public for staring at a guy in a wheelchair. I was staring 'cause he was so good looking. FML

#21322556
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (4262)

On 12/23/2014 at 6:28am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I asked my grandpa why he spoils me so much. He told me it's because he truly believes no one else will ever want to. FML

#21322081
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31226) - you deserved it (2738)

On 12/22/2014 at 1:40pm - misc - by bxjxj - United States

Today, half of my motivation to stop drinking is so that my tolerance will go down, because I currently can't actually afford enough alcohol to get even tipsy anymore. FML

#21319263
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26648) - you deserved it (11447)

On 12/17/2014 at 5:41pm - health - by Recovering Alcoholic - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my boss heard a rumor that I was in a relationship with a fellow co-worker. He assured me that inside relationships weren't against any store policy, so I confirmed it. He then fired my boyfriend anyway. FML

#21318814
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31357) - you deserved it (4971)

On 12/16/2014 at 10:31pm - work - by thankssomuch - United States (Maine)

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35116) - you deserved it (6738)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33407) - you deserved it (2658)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: