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motherpuncher

Offline (the 11/21/2014 at 12:06am) | Search for a member

motherpuncher

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 785
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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motherpuncher's page activity

Visits<b>stevenJB</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 9:29am<b>bspiper87</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 5:37am

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motherpuncher's favorite FMLs

Today, realized I need a new job. This happened when I was seriously considering ways to break my leg so I could stay at home for a day and not have to deal with my boss. FML

#21291344
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28410) - you deserved it (2719)

On 11/03/2014 at 4:16pm - work - by I don't want to be here anymore - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

#21291250
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38542) - you deserved it (4514)

On 11/03/2014 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by EliseV (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we are reading Animal Farm in class. Almost the entire class think it's about animal abuse. Including the teacher. FML

#21291068
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36330) - you deserved it (2523)

On 11/03/2014 at 6:04am - misc - by literature -

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

#21290790
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33055) - you deserved it (4875)

On 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm - intimacy - by SelfServiced - United States (California)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35969) - you deserved it (9837)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was stuck in the elevator at my building, so I pushed the emergency button which made a ringing noise. After half an hour, I hear someone yelling to the elevator, "Could you stop pushing that button, there are kids sleeping." FML

#21289322
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32120) - you deserved it (2142)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by Virginy - France

Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML

#21289257
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34473) - you deserved it (2147)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML

#21289188
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33978) - you deserved it (2773)

On 10/31/2014 at 5:12pm - health - by peanutprobs - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML

#21289001
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25519) - you deserved it (2389)

On 10/31/2014 at 10:27am - work - by hardwarekit (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML

#21288954
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31907) - you deserved it (2443)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:58am - kids - by kimmykins27 (woman) - United States

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

#21288944
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33733) - you deserved it (2551)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (21121)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

#21287630
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32170) - you deserved it (2496)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:46am - work - by fired tomoz (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48734) - you deserved it (3461)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML

#21285867
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28338) - you deserved it (5330)

On 10/26/2014 at 8:05pm - misc - by socreepedouticanteven - United States (West Virginia)



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