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mominzed

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mominzed
  • Town/Country : Lusaka, Zambia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 September 1983 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 2696
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About mominzed : If you deserve it, you deserve it!

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mominzed's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

#17649868
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9283) - you deserved it (44231)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by only1bigdogme - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML

#17649393
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27041) - you deserved it (2181)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by Panda_Bearr - United States (Michigan)

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

#17644028
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25802) - you deserved it (3494)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm - love - by Harry Dare - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

#17643019
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25713) - you deserved it (2682)

On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8102) - you deserved it (27166)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was emptying a bag of grass from my lawn mower when I saw pieces of what used to be a 50 dollar bill. FML

#17641020
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27979) - you deserved it (5289)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:48am - money - by woodre - United States

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31367) - you deserved it (3516)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was DJing on a popular local radio station when a pop-up window appeared on the station's computer. Of all the possible sounds that could have played, it was a girl screaming in pleasure. It went out live on air. FML

#17635803
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (4367)

On 09/01/2011 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by djfail - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

#17612047
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10833) - you deserved it (49042)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by slut (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25263) - you deserved it (2568)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31518) - you deserved it (2436)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML

#17609148
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9322) - you deserved it (40972)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by helpless_soul - United States

Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML

#17606800
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11219) - you deserved it (40498)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

#17606704
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28455) - you deserved it (8266)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)



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