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mominzed

Offline (the 10/24/2014 at 8:27pm) | Search for a member

mominzed

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 September 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3983
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About mominzed : If you deserve it, you deserve it!

mominzed's page activity

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mominzed's FML badges

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mominzed's favorite FMLs

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

#17672212
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29030) - you deserved it (2998)

On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25037) - you deserved it (9245)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28084) - you deserved it (4241)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38480) - you deserved it (2778)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48018) - you deserved it (5743)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML

#17661028
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27765) - you deserved it (3627)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08pm - love - by mommydearest (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36016) - you deserved it (9413)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

#17659023
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12546) - you deserved it (43708)

On 09/04/2011 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Gurior (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

#17658715
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40129) - you deserved it (2050)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. What was it over? He accused me of pronouncing MY name wrong. FML

#17658485
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (3397)

On 09/04/2011 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34963) - you deserved it (7156)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

#17657733
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39052) - you deserved it (5619)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the library, and had finally found the book I'd been looking for, when a man approaches me, says "The main character dies at the end", and walks away. FML

#17655744
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30935) - you deserved it (3013)

On 09/03/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by haha - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

#17655668
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24045) - you deserved it (37943)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

#17649868
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10269) - you deserved it (47095)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by only1bigdogme - United States (South Carolina)



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