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mominzed

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mominzed
  • Town/Country : Lusaka, Zambia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 September 1983 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 2698
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About mominzed : If you deserve it, you deserve it!

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mominzed's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my ex. After pouring my heart out to her, saying we were meant for each other, she looked at me and said, "Don't bother, I've already slept with your brother." FML

#17725319
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32460) - you deserved it (3592)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by MTJY - United Kingdom

Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML

#17724529
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34690) - you deserved it (2049)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm - work - by fashionista1787 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35051) - you deserved it (6530)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom and I had a fight in the car over who farted. The result? She wanted to smell my underwear when we got home, to prove it was me. FML

#17716214
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29589) - you deserved it (3198)

On 09/11/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by AnDroidZ_BabY - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

#17714662
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33709) - you deserved it (2688)

On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

#17711935
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24113) - you deserved it (2417)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by Hailey Antone - United States

Today, the really cute guy who asked for my number last night texted me. He wanted to know if he could get my friend's number, because he'd been too shy to ask her directly. FML

#17711612
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26560) - you deserved it (2148)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:19pm - love - by chicagobulls102 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML

#17710745
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29918) - you deserved it (23296)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:46am - intimacy - by RetroDayDreamer - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14289) - you deserved it (29839)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML

#17708531
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7676) - you deserved it (34315)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

#17707171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29167) - you deserved it (2304)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm - kids - by why?! (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13358) - you deserved it (45324)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

#17706108
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32265) - you deserved it (5787) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm - love - by Angie - France

Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9 inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML

#17694552
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22255) - you deserved it (2001)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:34am - intimacy - by grossedout (woman) - Reserved

Today, my dad met my fiancé's dad for the first time. My fiancé's dad is a cop. He had arrested my dad for indecent exposure in the past. FML

#17691759
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31907) - you deserved it (2365)

On 09/07/2011 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by lolomg (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)



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