Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mominzed

Search for a member

mominzed
  • Town/Country : Lusaka, Zambia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 September 1983 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 2705
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About mominzed : If you deserve it, you deserve it!

mominzed's last visitors

XotoolyxokiwifweshDrToffeeNipplesIns0mauTheBrochureColorguardlife_tendlessoptions78Notyours007mountainmanneilbuckdharmaFreeze

mominzed's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of mominzed's badges

mominzed's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. But not to worry, he said she's only in town for a week then he's done with her. FML

#16932993
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39998) - you deserved it (3872)

On 07/01/2011 at 4:49am - intimacy - by ljcxo17 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

#16932520
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28761) - you deserved it (3286)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

#16926272
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7699) - you deserved it (53436)

On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

#16919201
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33628) - you deserved it (2353)

On 06/30/2011 at 4:18am - misc - by John - United States

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46380) - you deserved it (4382)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I was making pudding and accidentally spilt some on the floor. I had no idea until I slipped in it, throwing the bowl of pudding on my head. My mom promised to take me to the hospital as soon as she got a picture. FML

#16913093
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25826) - you deserved it (4797)

On 06/29/2011 at 8:04pm - health - by Jenna - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59485) - you deserved it (6228)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9599) - you deserved it (75405)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my mum told me that my sister's little kiddie swing wouldn't hold my weight. I told her she was being stupid, and went on anyway. A broken ankle and two pins in my elbow later, I'm willing to accept this. FML

#16905617
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7100) - you deserved it (51301)

On 06/29/2011 at 2:12am - health - by Anza (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, while making love, he farted. And blamed it on his dog, who wasn't even in the room. The smell alone could have killed me. FML

#16905122
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33298) - you deserved it (5342)

On 06/29/2011 at 1:13am - intimacy - by crazy_bitch122 - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

#16896925
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28858) - you deserved it (4679)

On 06/28/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Qwerty - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML

#16895867
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38266) - you deserved it (2584)

On 06/28/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by adopteddd (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I saw a guy with a "free hugs" poster. Since nobody else was hugging him, I decided to. He had a boner. FML

#16886368
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (33429)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by nomorefreehugs - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58160) - you deserved it (7218)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

#16877997
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48376) - you deserved it (5459)

On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: