Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mominzed

Search for a member

mominzed

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 September 1983 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3358
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About mominzed : If you deserve it, you deserve it!

mominzed's page activity

Visits<b>SuperOliver</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 12:14am<b>qtdani</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 3:01pm<b>lovecottoncandy</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 2:55am<b>TheBoyWhoLived5</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 5:12pm<b>ZaTitanz</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 9:10pm<b>kitkat10361</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:34pm<b>WiltedRoses</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:31pm<b>englacobain</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 2:21pm<b>zandalee</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 4:56am<b>Xotoolyxo</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 11:11pm<b>kiwifwesh</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 11:50pm<b>DrToffeeNipples</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 3:37pm<b>Ins0mau</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 8:57am<b>TheBrochure</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 1:14am<b>Colorguardlife_t</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 10:34pm<b>endlessoptions78</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 3:25pm<b>Notyours007</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 10:28pm<b>mountainmanneil</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 4:01pm

mominzed's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of mominzed's badges

mominzed's favorite FMLs

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

#17030601
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9264) - you deserved it (79453)

On 07/08/2011 at 4:38pm - misc - by UhOh (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

#17027356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38507) - you deserved it (2289) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 11:46am - health - by Anonymous - Belgium (Liege)

Today, my family got together to read my grandpa's will. He gave all of his grandkids $400 each. Except me. It seems he thought I'd see the funny side in being bequeathed a blow-up sex doll. FML

#17027029
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35944) - you deserved it (4630)

On 07/08/2011 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Jack - United States (Illinois)

Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML

#17022194
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34374) - you deserved it (3034)

On 07/08/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by chumleevil - United States (Maine)

Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#17017856
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53137) - you deserved it (3094)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue in my mouth. FML

#17015904
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62317) - you deserved it (4973)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by lizownsvirgy - United States (California)

Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML

#17012885
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33050) - you deserved it (5466)

On 07/07/2011 at 10:40am - love - by Junktown (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

#17012107
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41818) - you deserved it (6356)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
708 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18246) - you deserved it (93433)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

#17004643
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39643) - you deserved it (10780)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52398) - you deserved it (16497)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

#16997621
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7301) - you deserved it (107960)

On 07/06/2011 at 5:17am - health - by Fmylife (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to come to terms with the fact that I'm getting older because my pubic hair is turning white. FML

#16983308
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33355) - you deserved it (5303)

On 07/05/2011 at 4:27am - intimacy - by davidthegreat (man) - Japan

Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML

#16982648
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11004) - you deserved it (56771)

On 07/05/2011 at 3:06am - love - by eatmywords (man) - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

#16980520
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9570) - you deserved it (66160)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (West Virginia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: