Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 05/17/2015 at 6:51pm) | Search for a member
About mk58 : First off, I AM A WOMAN, GODAMMIT. Just because I happen to like rage comics, and may often be seen wearing my rage face does not make me a male.
I'm a bit vulgar and rude sometimes, so I apologize beforehand if I hurt anyone's feelings.
I am a bit of a grammar nazi. I won't go around pointing out little errors or things that I know are probably typos (or autocorrect), but I will rage at you if you call someone out for being an idiot like so:
"your an idiot"
Or if you type like this:
"OMG dis be da sh1t!"
If you don't see what is wrong with those phrases right away, I'm not going to tell you what isn't correct. You'll find out when I rage at you. Just a word of caution, that's all.
I don't comment as much as I used to, but I'm still around lurking.
Feel free to message me, unless you happen to be a rude son/daughter of a goober.
*puts rage face on*
Now SCAT before I eat you!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, marks the seventh day of having my nose pierced. I'd done everything I was supposed to do, even sleeping with a band-aid over it. This morning, I woke up to my piercing being ripped out by my pillow, and the band-aid nowhere in sight. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML
Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
Friday 3 July 2015