Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About mk58 : First off, I AM A WOMAN, GODAMMIT. Just because I happen to like rage comics, and may often be seen wearing my rage face does not make me a male.
I'm a bit vulgar and rude sometimes, so I apologize beforehand if I hurt anyone's feelings.
I am a bit of a grammar nazi. I won't go around pointing out little errors or things that I know are probably typos (or autocorrect), but I will rage at you if you call someone out for being an idiot like so:
"your an idiot"
Or if you type like this:
"OMG dis be da sh1t!"
If you don't see what is wrong with those phrases right away, I'm not going to tell you what isn't correct. You'll find out when I rage at you. Just a word of caution, that's all.
I don't comment as much as I used to, but I'm still around lurking.
Feel free to message me, unless you happen to be a rude son/daughter of a goober.
*puts rage face on*
Now SCAT before I eat you!
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML
Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML
Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML
Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML
Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML
Today, marks the seventh day of having my nose pierced. I'd done everything I was supposed to do, even sleeping with a band-aid over it. This morning, I woke up to my piercing being ripped out by my pillow, and the band-aid nowhere in sight. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014