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Offline (the 03/19/2015 at 11:16am) | Search for a member
About mk58 : First off, I AM A WOMAN, GODAMMIT. Just because I happen to like rage comics, and may often be seen wearing my rage face does not make me a male.
I'm a bit vulgar and rude sometimes, so I apologize beforehand if I hurt anyone's feelings.
I am a bit of a grammar nazi. I won't go around pointing out little errors or things that I know are probably typos (or autocorrect), but I will rage at you if you call someone out for being an idiot like so:
"your an idiot"
Or if you type like this:
"OMG dis be da sh1t!"
If you don't see what is wrong with those phrases right away, I'm not going to tell you what isn't correct. You'll find out when I rage at you. Just a word of caution, that's all.
I don't comment as much as I used to, but I'm still around lurking.
Feel free to message me, unless you happen to be a rude son/daughter of a goober.
*puts rage face on*
Now SCAT before I eat you!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had trid, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injurd squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl an smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
Today, someone puttd dog turds underneath all the decorative riendeers' butts in mah front yard!! The chief suspect is mah curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a nieghbor!! looool Last week he repositiond them in very suggestive poses!! FML
Today, I had to sit and listen to mah co-worker moan about how early he has to get up tomorrow to go on his ski holiday in France over Christmas. He also complained about how tring skiing is. real FML
2DAY I DROPPD MY 7-YEAR-OLD SON OFF AT SCHOOL. HE DECIDD TO HAVE FUN AND STEP OUT OF MY CAR SCREAMING "STRANGER DANGER" WHILE RUNNING AWAY AND POINTING AT ME. I THEN HAD TO GET OUT OF MY CAR TO SHUT THE DOOR HE'D LEFT WIDE OPEN. THIS CAUSD 20 OTHER KIDS TO SCREAM "STRANGER DANGER" AS WELL. FML
TODAY, AFTER ROCKING MY ONE-YEAR OLD DAUGTER FIR NERELY TWO OURS, SE FINALLY FELL ASLEEP. AS I WENT TO LEAVE ER ROOM, I STUBBED MY TOE. I NOW AVE A BROKEN TOE, A SCREAMING CILD, AND A WIFE WO WILL BE SO PROUD TAT ER DAUGTER'S FIRST WORD IS ( FUCK! ) FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the frst time. Afterwards, he laid on the bd, silent and nakd in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I rapd my boyfriend. FML
today I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appear that mah friend have alway thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along'hen I talked about guys. FML
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written ( Obama is a beautiful chocolate man ) to every essay question. FML
Today I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Today in gaomatry class wa wara working in daad silanca!! Apparantly mah phona wasn't on vibrata and I racaivad 25 taxts all at onca whila it blastad "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of mah back pockat!! Thay waran't avan taxts from friands just Facabook notifications!! raal FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute grl started hitting on me. I got into it an we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, an shouted, "That's wat u get for touching my woman." FML
Today, my husband an I went to my overbereing mom's 57th brthday party . He opend his gift in front of her an said smugly, ( The makeup's fir your face, an the prayer book's fir the fat rolls . ) Any hope of family peace is now lost . FML
Friday 27 March 2015