Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 08/03/2015 at 6:48pm) | Search for a member
About mk58 : First off, I AM A WOMAN, GODAMMIT. Just because I happen to like rage comics, and may often be seen wearing my rage face does not make me a male.
I'm a bit vulgar and rude sometimes, so I apologize beforehand if I hurt anyone's feelings.
I am a bit of a grammar nazi. I won't go around pointing out little errors or things that I know are probably typos (or autocorrect), but I will rage at you if you call someone out for being an idiot like so:
"your an idiot"
Or if you type like this:
"OMG dis be da sh1t!"
If you don't see what is wrong with those phrases right away, I'm not going to tell you what isn't correct. You'll find out when I rage at you. Just a word of caution, that's all.
I don't comment as much as I used to, but I'm still around lurking.
Feel free to message me, unless you happen to be a rude son/daughter of a goober.
*puts rage face on*
Now SCAT before I eat you!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML
Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML
Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
Friday 4 September 2015