mjoyn98

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mjoyn98

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1227
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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mjoyn98's page activity

Visits<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 9:15pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:43am<b>britbear0731</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 2:37pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 7:44am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:26am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 10:40am<b>Nail9797</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 1:38pm<b>marcusterry</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:54am<b>DaBayst</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:49pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:18pm<b>ethan_unoxx</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:50pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 4:05am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 7:36pm<b>cwl727</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Dcaxcs</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 7:06pm<b>lilpsyco</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 6:06pm<b>romzfml</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 1:43am<b>DoNotTaseMeBro</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 8:49am

mjoyn98's FML badges

It’s in the can

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mjoyn98's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

by dumbasdogshit / 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm / Health

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

by Bad Mommy / 06/21/2012 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2012 at 12:51am / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

by ugh / 06/08/2012 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

by thwack / 05/24/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Work

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2012 at 5:14pm / United States / Money

Today, I learned that shaving while feeling upset is a very bad idea. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 6:35am / Philippines / Health

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I am allergic to grass, and not supposed to mow lawns. My job is mowing lawns. FML

by jobless / 05/16/2012 at 3:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 10:22am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Transportation

Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML

by screwedupkid / 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm / Miscellaneous

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love