missathegirlwond

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Offline (the 07/15/2016 at 11:53pm)

missathegirlwond

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12011
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About missathegirlwond : I’m the illegitimate love-child of Strategy and Creativity. Now neither parent admits to having me…

missathegirlwond's page activity

Visits<b>Kuibe</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 4:58am<b>SirFawkes</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:26am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 11:53am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 3:17pm<b>Ichiya</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 6:20am<b>kesht1996</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 6:02pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:05pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 6:19am<b>klenorris</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 7:25pm<b>jonidoe</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:49am<b>fallen45078</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 9:38am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:05pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 2:49am<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:34am<b>moonstruckwolf</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 1:27am<b>Language_girl97</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 12:44pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 3:27pm<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 3:59am

missathegirlwond's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of missathegirlwond's badges

missathegirlwond's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2009 at 1:12am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off and learned that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML

by damnit / 08/25/2009 at 2:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

by John / 08/22/2009 at 1:05am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my mother told me she's disappointed in me for not going to a better college, and that if I was in the top ten of my class that the rest of those ten must be really dumb. Fact is, I threw away the acceptance letters to Carnegie Mellon and Cornell because I didn't want her to have to pay. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2009 at 10:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2009 at 12:01am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

by anugla / 08/18/2009 at 1:02am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

by slipperyhands / 08/15/2009 at 3:50am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML

by jennabean / 08/12/2009 at 12:13am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

by ohhmydamn / 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to tell my 10 year old son that me and his father are getting a divorce. His reply? "Yes! I call living with dad!" FML

by reckless182 / 07/26/2009 at 11:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

by tony / 07/24/2009 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

by Rory / 07/23/2009 at 12:26am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML

by emkatch / 07/21/2009 at 3:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

by fmjob / 07/21/2009 at 12:39am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy