About missathegirlwond : I’m the illegitimate love-child of Strategy and Creativity. Now neither parent admits to having me…
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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missathegirlwond's favorite FMLs
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love
Today, I slipped and fell in mud while running from the car to inside to avoid getting wet in a torrential downpour. I was running from the limo, in my wedding dress, to the church for my wedding. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2011 at 12:26am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love
Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
by stargirl / 07/18/2011 at 8:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
by gir / 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML
by Username / 07/08/2011 at 9:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
by danam / 07/04/2011 at 10:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by beablue18 / 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by cycler / 06/13/2011 at 12:22am / United States / Animals
Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
by / 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm / United States / Health
by Clumsyblonde22 / 06/04/2011 at 7:22am / United States / Animals
by bfall74 / 05/31/2011 at 6:35pm / Canada / Transportation
Today, I finally found out what that weird smell in my apartment was. My ex-boyfriend had been breaking into my apartment and hiding rotting fruit all over the place. I found this out when a ceiling panel fell and a swarm of fruit flies attacked me. FML
by thiswouldonlyhappentome / 05/30/2011 at 8:33pm / Aruba / Animals
by FMLer / 05/27/2011 at 4:57pm / United States (Washington) / Geek