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About missathegirlwond : I’m the illegitimate love-child of Strategy and Creativity. Now neither parent admits to having me…
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML
Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML
Today, I burned my hand while making breakfast. As I staggered around the kitchen in agony, looking for some burn cream, my cat figured he'd latch onto said hand and drag his claws through the burn. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home from college for the first time in weeks just to visit me. I was so excited that I spent two hours getting ready. Turns out he was only coming back to dump me. Now I'm single and out of foundation. FML
Today, I looked at my twelve-year-old daughter's test. One of the question was, "When is a good time to worry about your parents?" Her answer was, "When they take selfies, because selfies aren't made for old people." FML
Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML
Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML
Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML
Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML
Friday 19 December 2014