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Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18293) - you deserved it (2229)
On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21931) - you deserved it (2280)
On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6926) - you deserved it (20277)
On 02/15/2010 at 2:44am - health - by kiriakousauce21 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12314) - you deserved it (2580)
On 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by adam - United States (Illinois)
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19541) - you deserved it (3041)
On 02/14/2010 at 3:42am - love - by dzisfml - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30082) - you deserved it (2503)
On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States
Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a 'free hugs' sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30765) - you deserved it (7875)
On 02/02/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by nonameLiz (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54308) - you deserved it (4927)
On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (2404)
On 01/24/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (2404)
On 01/24/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33383) - you deserved it (2611)
On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States
Today, my father yelled at me for changing 1 of his 2 programable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, 1 is for sober driving and 2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20742) - you deserved it (2302)
On 01/15/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Goobie (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went for a ride with my son. I noticed he didn't have his seat belt on. To teach him a lesson, I drove very slowly and hit the brakes really hard. The impact was greater than I thought, so my son hit his head against the window and left a huge crack. He just laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5432) - you deserved it (43620)
On 01/13/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by Joe (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8359) - you deserved it (38790)
On 01/10/2010 at 10:37am - health - by badsister (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29305) - you deserved it (9906)
On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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