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Today, we were building the homecoming float, the theme is Seasons of Love . We went around the yard and put random leaves on the float . My friend's dad looked at the float and said, "You do realize that's poison ivy?"
2dayhile on mah run, I was attacked by mah neighbor's new dog!! It apparently didn't lyk me running past there house and broke free from its chain!! I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court 4 the emotional distress I caused her and the dog!! FML
Today, friends threw me a Halloween themed party for sweet sixteen. When I arrived, one looool of friends jumped out from behind the door, dressed as Michael Myers. I peed myself in front of everyone I knew. FML
Today I let out the most horrific loudest and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class!! Out of embarrassment I trid to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling but no one saw the funny side!! I was given looks of horror and avoidd by everyone else 4 the rest of the class!! FML
Today, I cummed home to find mah drunken father sitting on our front lawn!! He had a blanket, lit candle, an was singing with his eyes closed!! He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel!! Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, an yelling "praise the lord!" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter!! I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do u have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing!! FML
Today, My Boyfriend And I Got Into A Fight. Doubting Our Relationship, I Asked Him Seriously If He Loved Me. He Looked Thoughtful, Gathered Me In His Arms And Said, "If I Say Yes, Will U Be Less Pissed?" And Then Tried To Stick His Hand Down My Pants. FML
Today, I was one of five people calld up to the front in class to recieve a special notice from the school administration. The first four people recievd awards 4 outstanding effort in school. Mine was a notice that I had overdue library fines. FML
Friday 27 March 2015