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mhewitt

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mhewitt

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 207
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mhewitt : I like to poop

mhewitt's page activity

Visits<b>Grauncho</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 6:24pm

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mhewitt's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23448) - you deserved it (4845)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my brother and I drove 3 hours to pick up our puppy. The woman we bought him from said not to put him in the cage for the ride home as he would pee for sure. She recommended I put him on my lap. Not only did he shit on the seat backing out of her driveway, he pissed on me an hour later. FML

#18604645
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21907) - you deserved it (6473)

On 12/25/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37531) - you deserved it (3089)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I discovered my sister has a crystal meth problem when she set fire to our house. FML

#18198070
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32948) - you deserved it (2229)

On 11/08/2011 at 11:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML

#18136317
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (9424)

On 11/02/2011 at 3:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

#17629318
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41311) - you deserved it (11590)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I've gotten the most calls of my life. Turns out the idiot who changed the sign on my local pizza hut put up the wrong phone number. My phone number. I've already received 16 calls. FML

#17568217
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24313) - you deserved it (2211)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:14pm - misc - by Marty - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

#16019768
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15638) - you deserved it (63958)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by hornyloser (man) - United States (California)

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49179) - you deserved it (5784)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML

#15161731
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26511) - you deserved it (5199)

On 03/01/2011 at 10:00am - health - by a -

Today, my friend installed this new application that shows you what a girl would look like as a boy and what a boy would look like as a girl. Well I'm a girl and when it was my turn it didn't change. FML

#14772797
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27632) - you deserved it (4470)

On 01/30/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by boylookingirl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

#14594110
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35366) - you deserved it (3214)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

#8658648
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53527) - you deserved it (2774)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:23am - love - by pain (woman) - Japan

Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML

#7545764
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30612) - you deserved it (4731)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:32pm - love - by firstdate (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a hurry to catch a plane. I got half way to the airport and realized I forgot my phone. I drove back to the house and searched for it. I finally gave up and returned to the airport only to find that I was 10 minutes late for my plane. Just then my pocket vibrated. FML

#7158067
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8741) - you deserved it (34688)

On 01/05/2010 at 1:40am - misc - by Allen - France



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