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mexicotoucher's favorite FMLs
by mbesameh / 06/11/2011 at 2:27am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML
by Anonyme / 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals
by ouchmyeye / 06/10/2011 at 12:59am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, my new iPhone was stolen from my school locker. After canceling my service, sobbing, having my mom yell at the secretary for their lack of security and finally agreeing to change to a private school, I found it in the corner of my locker. FML
by Anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 7:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Bee / 06/07/2011 at 8:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML
by Burned / 06/04/2011 at 8:54pm / United States / Love
Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML
by hcflorence1 / 06/04/2011 at 1:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
by TMI / 06/04/2011 at 12:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by missbutthole / 06/04/2011 at 9:07am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I found out my ex boyfriend's band has become quite popular on YouTube. My friends and sister won't stop singing their songs. Most of them were written after I dumped him, and go on to say how much better off he is without me and how horrible I am. FML
by guttedgirl / 06/04/2011 at 7:35am / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Love
by maribel / 06/04/2011 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by transfer / 06/03/2011 at 5:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I received an email from my potential employers at the zoo, saying that they won't be hiring me. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't keep sending me the same email every two hours to remind me that I am still unemployed. FML
by ryjacs / 06/03/2011 at 4:22pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
by amf / 06/02/2011 at 11:08pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Work
Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML
by corn / 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…