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mexicotoucher's favorite FMLs
by me / 11/04/2011 at 12:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by fmlifer / 11/04/2011 at 12:29am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML
by charlotte9338 / 10/23/2011 at 7:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I had a mild allergic reaction from eating pasta salad. I told my mom that I might be allergic to the parsley, since it was the only ingredient that I don't eat often. She made me eat a sprig of it to "make sure." Now my face is covered in hives. FML
by Anonymous / 08/22/2011 at 10:17pm / United States / Health
by MC / 08/14/2011 at 10:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by danam / 07/04/2011 at 10:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML
by Anonyme / 06/17/2011 at 9:25pm / Switzerland (Fribourg) / Love
by illiterate / 06/17/2011 at 12:16am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by mk / 06/14/2011 at 2:08am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by robertsonjimmy / 06/13/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (Mississippi) / Animals
Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, "Oh, I'll get it!" and pulled out her wallet. FML
by sarahwittman / 06/13/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money