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mexicotoucher's favorite FMLs
by me / 11/04/2011 at 12:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by fmlifer / 11/04/2011 at 12:29am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML
by charlotte9338 / 10/23/2011 at 7:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I had a mild allergic reaction from eating pasta salad. I told my mom that I might be allergic to the parsley, since it was the only ingredient that I don't eat often. She made me eat a sprig of it to "make sure." Now my face is covered in hives. FML
by Anonymous / 08/22/2011 at 10:17pm / United States / Health
by MC / 08/14/2011 at 10:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by danam / 07/04/2011 at 10:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML
by Anonyme / 06/17/2011 at 9:25pm / Switzerland (Fribourg) / Love
by illiterate / 06/17/2011 at 12:16am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by mk / 06/14/2011 at 2:08am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by robertsonjimmy / 06/13/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (Mississippi) / Animals
Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, "Oh, I'll get it!" and pulled out her wallet. FML
by sarahwittman / 06/13/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines… Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then… Today, my boyfriend got off for real for the first time during sex. Apparently, he's been faking it…