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mello_chase

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mello_chase
  • Town/Country : Raleigh
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 September 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1384
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mello_chase's favorite FMLs

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16532) - you deserved it (53580)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML

#20028447
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20348) - you deserved it (1718)

On 08/18/2012 at 4:34pm - kids - by yoggabe (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18316) - you deserved it (4030)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

#19693767
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17882) - you deserved it (4623)

On 05/28/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Danny (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

#19608230
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22084) - you deserved it (6697)

On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

#19231360
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22337) - you deserved it (5638)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Sharibabi65 (woman) - United States

Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML

#18836857
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19626) - you deserved it (3833)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Dooh (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46337) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37242) - you deserved it (7524)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (5845)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

#18098530
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27286) - you deserved it (16543)

On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31398) - you deserved it (8858)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week. Before I came, I had to stop because I started crying. FML

#17473520
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22864) - you deserved it (6883)

On 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

#17361145
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9757) - you deserved it (22862)

On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8563) - you deserved it (58548) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version



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