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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
mckibben's favorite FMLs
Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
by Human fly / 04/21/2013 at 2:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML
by Anonymous / 04/21/2013 at 1:07am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 04/21/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Transportation
Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML
by Thanks Babe / 04/20/2013 at 7:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by unlucky / 04/20/2013 at 5:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized how tiny my apartment is, when I was able to vacuum from bedroom to bathroom through the living room without switching the power outlet from the one in the kitchen. I pay a fortune to live in this shoebox. FML
by citylife / 04/20/2013 at 4:22pm / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm / Thailand / Kids
Today, my crew was called out to do some house maintenance. We were nearly done, when someone had the goddamned fucking brilliant idea of washing plaster off their hands in the kitchen sink, which clogged the pipes. Instead of getting paid, we now owe for damages. FML
by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Work
by dentedmercedes / 04/20/2013 at 9:43am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
by How strange / 04/20/2013 at 8:02am / United States / Love
by MaggotMother / 04/20/2013 at 6:51am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 10:55pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation
Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML
by unemployed / 04/19/2013 at 8:16pm / El Salvador (San Salvador) / Work
- Today, I picked up my six-year-old son after the karate class I’d signed him up for the holidays.… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,…