maurambie

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maurambie

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4201
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About maurambie : If you can't tell from my picture, I love Avenged Sevenfold :)
foREVer rest in peace, Jimmy

maurambie's page activity

Visits<b>FigureSkater7713</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 7:04pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 7:31pm<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:05pm<b>AC2098</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:48pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 6:19pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:10pm<b>IamDerpHerp</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 10:09pm<b>VG3833</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 10:33pm<b>zobo1014</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 2:16pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/24/2011 at 1:05am<b>Sarry77</b> - the 11/05/2011 at 10:32pm

Fucked!<b>AC2098</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 12:48am

maurambie's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of maurambie's badges

maurambie's favorite FMLs

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

by mystupidson / 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML

by helpless_soul / 08/29/2011 at 12:27am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

by Andrew / 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Work

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

by cjay2200 / 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Kids

Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML

by KayDayParade / 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm / United States / Money

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2011 at 7:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals

Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML

by ash / 08/25/2011 at 6:57pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally put the finishing touches on my first vacation in over two years, due to my hellish work schedule. The Governor essentially just vetoed my vacation with evacuation orders. Thanks, Hurricane Irene. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 2:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Holidays

Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML

by josie345 / 08/24/2011 at 10:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I've gotten the most calls of my life. Turns out the idiot who changed the sign on my local Pizza Hut put up the wrong phone number. My phone number. I've already received 16 calls. FML

by Marty / 08/24/2011 at 1:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML

by waytootan / 08/22/2011 at 4:34pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work