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marner45

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marner45

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Today, mah mom threw mah tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead . Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking there tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk . FML

#20018901
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29334) - you deserved it (1851)

On 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm - misc - by jannister (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today , I was at a Chinasa buffat , an I got a fortuna cookia. I opanad it , an it said , "Tha lova of your lifa is sitting across from you". Tha only thing across from ma was an ampty chair. FML

#20007961
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33462) - you deserved it (3148)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today , I was taking a walkhen I noticed an elderly man on the ground , unmoving. Being a registered nurse , I tried to give him CPR. As mah lips touched his , he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of mah throat. I swallowed. FML

#19991658
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34721) - you deserved it (5194)

On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)

Today I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused mah bowels to release everything right then and there while on the phone with a customer in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

#19991299
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30383) - you deserved it (1519)

On 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm - health - by sy123 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today , my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

#19990567
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27922) - you deserved it (4349)

On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently I am only missing the birth but I also missed the conception. FML

#19911168
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56815) - you deserved it (2556)

On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

2day I woke up to a nude picture of mah girlfriend . Once I looked at it mah morning wood went away . FML

#19886014
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33195) - you deserved it (8319)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by bob - United States (Ohio)

TODAY, I FOUND OUT THAT THE GRL I TUTORED IN HIGH SCHOOL IN BASIC ENGLISH JUST RECIEVED HER PHD IN BIOPHYSICS. I AM NOW THE MANAGER OF A MCDONALD'S. I WAS ALSO THE VALEDICTORIAN OF OUR GRADUATING CLASS. FML

#4253042
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39747) - you deserved it (35957)

On 08/03/2009 at 11:08am - work - by MickeyDManager (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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