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marner45

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marner45

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  • Number of visits : 27
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marner45's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML

#20018901
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28595) - you deserved it (1760)

On 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm - misc - by jannister (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31880) - you deserved it (3011)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

#19991658
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33422) - you deserved it (5035)

On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

#19991299
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30269) - you deserved it (1511)

On 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm - health - by sy123 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

#19990567
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27783) - you deserved it (4343)

On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

#19911168
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56659) - you deserved it (2551)

On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML

#19886014
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33093) - you deserved it (8303)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by bob - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML

#4253042
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39652) - you deserved it (35902)

On 08/03/2009 at 11:08am - work - by MickeyDManager (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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