About mamaklm : Rockin n a Rollin
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5838) - you deserved it (42599)
Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11380) - you deserved it (64580)
On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59856) - you deserved it (5174)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I dozed off during a lecture. When I woke up, I didn't recognize any of the people surrounding me, and I saw one guy pointing and laughing at me. It turns out, my professor instructed everyone to let me sleep because he wanted to see how long it would be before I woke up. I was asleep three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7405) - you deserved it (21002)
On 01/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was a bill from my parents. Apparently, the rent is due on the 1st. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23205) - you deserved it (2088)
On 12/18/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by Dopeboyfresh71 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to the Salvation Army to donate some clothes. As I was handing over the 4 huge bags that I had carried for 10 blocks, while 6 months pregnant, somebody stole my purse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32260) - you deserved it (2777)
On 12/15/2010 at 6:58am - misc - by mugged (woman) - Germany (Hessen)
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13930) - you deserved it (37220)
On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15743) - you deserved it (596)
On 10/18/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6929) - you deserved it (20279)
On 02/15/2010 at 2:44am - health - by kiriakousauce21 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I panicked when I felt a hard bump on the side of my stomach. I thought I had appendicitis. Turns out it was my ab muscles. I've been overweight so long I didn't know what they felt like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5603) - you deserved it (15784)
On 02/09/2010 at 8:16pm - health - by conchita (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39649) - you deserved it (3052)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my mom asked me to clean beneath my brother's bed for money. I found a rotten apple, a picture of my best friend, and a dead bird. I got $10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21501) - you deserved it (3247)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:04pm - kids - by Brotherssuckkk - Sent from mobile version
Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super excited to open my presents, only to discover that everyone in my house had already opened their presents and gone to bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17439) - you deserved it (3554)
On 12/25/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by iFail (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18695) - you deserved it (17701)
On 12/13/2009 at 1:26am - health - by teeeessst (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17858) - you deserved it (8212)
On 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Ballhugger (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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